Fracking Insanity

Druid Life

Green MP Caroline Lucas has been arrested whilst protesting against fracking. More here –

It seems, reading the article, that a ‘legal protest’ can now be defined as one that happens somewhere out of the way where no one is in any way inconvenienced by it. Which rather negates the value of protesting. If to be inconveniently in the way is to be illegal, gods help this country because we are in a lot of trouble just now.

There is a video in the newspaper link. You can watch for yourself and judge how dangerous, antisocial and in need of arresting for public order and safety these people are. This is a peaceful protest. It should, therefore be considered a legitimate protest, as I see it, and to send in the police is a travesty.
Of course no one in power wants the general public thinking about fracking. They…

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Thunder Gods and traffic

I live in a valley here in B.C. It is an odd valley, odd because it runs East to West which I have heard is fairly uncommon. The mountains on the south side of the valley are mostly in the U.S., we have two rivers that run through the valley, one of those is right behind my backyard, about two minutes of walking down a path and I am at it. Really it is a beautiful place.

Another unique thing about this valley is the way weather systems enter our valley. They circle it for hours. You can watch a huge storm rushing in from the east or west and then watch it turn north or south and circle around and around for a couple hours before you ever feel a drop of rain. This time of year this brings in some of the most amazing thunder and lightning storms I have ever seen. Such was the case the other night.

The sky was totally clear except for the far west end of the valley. There stood a bank of fairly fluffy white clouds. I noticed around dusk however that these cotton ball clouds where not so innocent. There was a brilliant light show going on behind them. So as it was getting dark, my oldest daughter and I went out to sit on the lawn, drink some wine and watch the show.

Now due to the fact that my yard is surrounded by very tall hazel nut and maple trees on three sides we had to go to the far north part of the yard to be able to watch this storm. And watch it we did. It was a stunning display of orange, red and yellow explosions within the clouds. It was really very spiritual and moving.

The thing is however, the north part of my yard is about 40 feet from the highway, one of the main major highways that run through southern British Columbia. The constant traffic was a great distraction. It made me long for a time when we were not so caught up in hustle and bustle, so driven to run hither and fro. When transport merchants had to stop for the night because their horse drawn wagons tended to be short of headlights.

It brought me to thinking about a question I have heard and thought about before. Why is it that our pagan ancestors seemed so much closer to the Gods, to the flow of the Divine (not that they referred to it as that) than we are?

Well I have the answer. They had no traffic.


Some years ago I signed up at a message board who’s roots are that of the Christian religion I grew up in. I did this to “face my demons” so to speak, but in the end I found some really good people there and some great conversations. It has also served the purpose of cementing my current beliefs by seeing the difference between how I once thought and how I now think.

A few days back a thread was started there titled “What does Ungodly look like?”

The premise of this thread was from a Christian perspective of course (being a Christian forum and all 😉 ) but it made me think.

My response was as follows

What does ungodly look like?

I think people get to wrapped up in the details of that question.

Go look in the mirror. Look at your life. Look at your priorities. Look at what pleases you and what stresses you. I would be willing to wager that 90% of all of that is ungodly.


Because we are not Gods. Our minds don’t work that way. We get too wrapped up in the details, to wrapped up in theology, to wrapped in politics, and too wrapped up in our own ego. We forget to exist, to flow, to live and experience. We talk when we should listen, we sit still when we should dance. We lock out the wild and light up the darkness when we should explore and experience both. We are as far from godly as anything there is.

So its not a matter of the righteous of the wicked, of the sinners and the saints. Its a matter of each one of us ignoring our potential, our talents and this incredible gift of life.

I would like to take this opportunity to expand on that a bit. This may involve some amount of meandering thoughts so feel free to stop reading at this point LOL.

As a fairly hardcore polytheist I tend to think that there are the Gods, and that there are humans and I also tend to subscribe to there being other entities in the middle. So by that its easy to say that we as humans are by our nature ungodly. In my experience it is not that simple however.

As a Gwyddon I say that all things are one. That humans, deity, trees, animals, spirits, fae, wights, elves, rivers, lakes, stardust, what have you are each and every one a part of the All. Each thing is connected and while each manifests in its own unique way, each is not that different from the other. I mean hey, just today I read an article about how plants do fairly complex math to stay alive.  I suspect as science progresses it will become apparent how similar all things in existence truly are.

So what separates us from the Gods?

My answer (at this time – I reserve the right to change it as I grow spiritually) is this.

We are too wrapped up in the fact that we exist. We are to wrapped up in the fact that one day we will die. We live life in fear, we live life in a linear forward movement. I think this stunts us and impairs our ability to grow and expand upon our existence.

Go look in the mirror. Look at your life. Look at your priorities. Look at what pleases you and what stresses you. I would be willing to wager that 90% of all of that is ungodly.

Looking at life, priorities, pleasures and stresses is a good starting point. Here in Western Culture we are very goal driven. We are always under some kind of pressure to succeed, to keep up with the neighbors, to achieve certain things by certain times of our lives. We work so hard to get to a point were we can retire when we are old, and then when we are old we sit around wishing we had enjoyed life more when we were young. How many times have you heard the phrase “Youth is wasted on the young”? There is truth in that, but not because the young are foolish, but mostly because they are pressured to achieve enough to survive when they are old.

Now I am by no means saying that goals and hard work are bad things. I am not suggesting that we should not try and achieve things. What I am saying is that from my viewpoint we waste an enormous amount of our lives trying to have more than we need. We are so focused on the future that we forget to live in the moment we have – now. I think that possibly the Gods are eternal because they realize that there is only one relevant moment – the one they are in.

We get too wrapped up in the details, to wrapped up in theology, to wrapped in politics, and too wrapped up in our own ego.

This is a little trickier in ways. Details are important. The problem is that once we know the details of something we tend to not move beyond them. Details are the foundation, the starting point. But they are also a trap if we let them define the action. If we can’t learn to improvise and flow with the moment, we will be stuck in the details and miss the surroundings. We will be stagnant.

Theology and politics are great detail landmines. So many people let themselves be defined by these two monsters.  On the website that inspired this post I watch people argue endlessly over the smallest details of the theology they all subscribe to. Its stunning, its heartbreaking, and its amusing all in one. If they spent nearly as much time honouring their God as they do arguing the details of his message to them, they might just be surprised at how much more they could walk in beauty and how much more they could grow spiritually.

The same goes for politics. Politics in my opinion is the greatest man made evil their is. I feel so much disdain for it I am not even going to further comment on it other than to say it is simply theology with voters and weapons.

Both of the above feed the ego, feed it a delicious poison that keep it swelling and chaotic. That blind it into believing its own self importance or conversely in its own self loathing. These are things that in my experience and study are about as far away from the nature of deity that there is.

We talk when we should listen, we sit still when we should dance. We lock out the wild and light up the darkness when we should explore and experience both.

The existence of all things is precarious. All things can be destroyed, all things are vulnerable in one way or another. All things must do certain things in order to continue. Humans however, from my observation, do exactly the wrong things at the wrong times. Go for a hike with a friend. Have a lively conversation while doing so, then when you return list the things you saw and experienced. Then go for the same hike but do so in silence, listening to all around you, looking at all there is too see. When you get back list the things you saw, heard, and experienced. I promise you the second list will be much longer than the first. Have a conversation with someone that believes differently than you. But LISTEN. Hear what they are saying, not just the words they are speaking. Don’t be preparing your rebuttal in your mind, just absorb. Its really hard to do, but if you can learn to listen, when you speak there will be a lot more substance to your words. I honestly believe that deity are great listeners, great observers. That is why they know a lot more than we do.

Dancing instead of sitting. Its a metaphor. We don’t embrace life enough. We are too worried about what other people might think, or we are to tired, or to busy.  An example of this, of my beginning to learn this………… my 8 year old recently asked if he could have mohawk.  The catch was that he wanted me to have one as well. Now I am 43 years old dammit and what business do I have being so foolish at my age? Well I gave that some thought and in the end I decided that in 5 years he is going to likely be embarrassed at the thought of me existing. So I am going to celebrate the fact that he wants to share this with me. So now I have one and so does he. Its hair. It will grow. (though I kind of like it and am thinking of keeping it)

Locking out the wild and lighting the darkness………… I have given the wild part a lot of thought. I think our fear of the wild is a direct result of the fear of what we might see in ourselves. We are biologically animals. Psychologically we have an animal instinct as well. But we sooooo want to believe that we have evolved past that. We have – but its still what we are. A great bit of advice I was once given – Humans think they have defeated the animal within. But they have not. What you need to do is reach within, find it, embrace it, become one with it and understand it. Only then can you control it. It is what you are.

Lighting the darkness………. there is a great amount of beauty in the dark. When we turn on a light we can’t see it though. Its part of the cycle, and its something we need. We need to embrace it wholly.

See, we have the ability to share a lot with the Gods. Maybe to be Godly. But to do so we have to revamp a lot. We have to lose a lot of what we think makes us the superior beings on this planet. One of those things is the idea that we are superior.

I am not claiming to have the answers, and as always this is here so that I can look at it and remember to do some of these things myself. But hey, if you can get something out of it too – I will embrace my inner animal and do a dance  in the dark with my crazy mohawk in celebration!

Safe travels dear friend

Today I found out my friend Ted passed away last night. We all knew it was coming as his liver had failed due to a life time of very dedicated drinking.

Sadly there are those that will only remember Ted as the guy that was truly never sober. They are right, in the 10 years I knew him he I only saw him sober once, and since he was operating machinery we promply  got a 6 pack in him so he could function.

But though none of you know Ted, I want to tell you about him.

He was simply and honestly the kindest, nicest human being I have ever met in my 43(well next week 43 😉 ) years on this earth. I don’t often go around calling other men sweet, but it really was the only word that could sum him up. He had a very Zen like approach to life, one thing at a time and don’t over complicate any of it. I never heard him say an unkind word to another person, and if you were ever in need he would be there whether you asked him or not. There was a couple years I was without a vehicle and I often ran into Ted in the grocery store. I would be on a major shopping spree, going to take a cab home. Ted would insist on sitting in his truck for an hour waiting for me so I could save that $7.  It was just his nature – be good to people simply because it was the right thing to do and he wanted to do it.

Ted was a walking encyclopedia on the blues. If there was a blues artist that he had never heard of, I certainly never came across it. He knew every recording by everybody from the days of Robert Johnson to the current scene. He loved his fiddle, though he really kind of sucked at playing it, he would still whip it out and give it a go.

The world was a much better place having Ted a part of it, he touched a lot of lives. He hung around with fairly rough people and showed each how to be a kind, caring person. Not by lectures or words, but by simply being himself. I thank the Gods that he is no longer suffering, that he has moved on to the next step of his journey, but I weep for all of us that will never get to bask in his gentle light again, and for all that never got the chance to sit and talk with this wonderful person.

So thank you so much Ted for being a part of my life, safe travels and know that there are many of us that will never forget the impact you had, one that you probably never knew about. Much love old guy.

Behind the Man in the Mirror

“I need to find myself”

That is a statement that generally just drives me up the wall.  I think it drives me nuts because it is generally used by drama queens looking for an excuse to check out of responsibility, or used to get attention.

That said, there is some merit to it. More getting to know yourself. Its part of the path to self honesty. To look inside and face your darkness, your light, and your gray areas. To find that maybe what you thought was darkness is actually not, but because you are so conditioned to think of differences as dark, and to think of darkness as “bad” that you have buried them.

An example:

Many times I have been told that I give off a very feminine energy. Emotional, thoughtful, giving and nurturing. But, I have been raised in a society that tells me I have to be strong and macho, drink beer and be manly. I rebelled against that for a long time. When I was younger I sang in a glam metal band, was generally prettier than most the women I dated and said to hell with the macho bs. Now that is not to say I did not like a lot of that are generally thought of as male interests. I loved (and still do) hockey, hiking, fishing, I loved women. But I was always looking for the beauty in things. In sports I saw precision and graceful skill, in nature I was just at peace all the time, women I loved in a lot of ways, but mostly I just loved being around them talking. None of this was the norm, but I fought through that because I thought it was the truth.

But in time I grew weary of the fight. Of always being called down, my family wondering when I was going to get over this “phase” and be a MAN. So I just went with the expectations. I buried all of that and just got manly. It has not been a happy time and its been almost 20 years.

Now this is just an example. We all have these kind of things whether we want to admit to them or not. We all probably have a number of things we just don’t face about ourselves. I know I sure do. But until we do, we are not being honest with ourselves. We are not living with the love we deserve, and we are preventing ourselves from deserving that love. But looking past the reflection in the mirror is frightening. To get into our own heads and face the true person living in there is terrifying.  We all want to be accepted so bad, that we are not sure that if we truly get a good view of who we are, we will even be able to accept ourselves. But we need to. We need to face ourselves, forgive ourselves, and love ourselves.

There have been certain things that have come to light in my life as of late that tell me that these things are about to be ripped wide open for me. That whether I like it or not I am going to have to face me and that I am going to have to learn to love myself.

Truth is, I am scared, but I can’t wait to get to know me.

Why religion?

I have been thinking a lot over the last few months about why people follow religions.

Some do it because they need a crutch. That to me is sad, but I understand it. But it renders it kind of meaningless, and it tells me that they are scared to face life head on. But that said, most of us have crutches of some kind.

Some people do it because its how they were raised. Terrible reason in my opinion. I think a person should only follow a belief system because its what they have truly sought out themselves. Personally I encourage my kids to make up their own minds on spiritual matters. Of course if they ask me a question I will tell them what I believe, but I am conscientious about telling them that it is simply my personal take on things and that they do not have to share that opinion.

Some people do it for power. Do I really need to say more about these people? Spirituality should never be about being better than others and being able to hold something over someone else.

Some do it out of fear. Actually I think a lot of people come to religion this way. Some maintain that fear and sense of guilt because their religion promotes it. It saddens and sickens me that this is the case. Religion should be about celebration and joy.

Some people come to religion for an answer, to find a deeper meaning

Some people come to religion for peace.

It is these last two I really want to touch on here.

In my experience turning to religion for an answer, to find a deeper meaning, and for peace are the most valid reasons to turn to it. But as of late I have discovered that there is a flaw to that as well. I have discovered it because these are the main reasons why I first turned to religion.

You see, first one has to know the questions they really want to ask to find an answer. I think a lot of people don’t. Most answers can be found in the world around us. Science is a great thing, psychology is a great thing. Many answers can be found there. Not all, but we can do well to clear up a lot of our questions my going to those sources to find answers.

Deeper meaning. Its wonderful that people want to go deeper. But I think we would all do ourselves a great favour on that level if we first understood and appreciated the shallow waters first. Learn to enjoy life, live it to its fullest. I don’t mean get hammered every night, do every drug you can do, sleep with every willing body, I mean learn to enjoy all the nuances of life. Because once we learn to really live, to really make the most of each day – then we are way more prepared for the deeper meaning. We go in more focused and with a much clearer vision of what we are looking for.

Which leads us to finding peace. To be honest I don’t think religion can give a person peace. I think each of us needs to find it within ourself first. There may be practices that one can pick up from religion that help with that, but the religion itself can’t do it for you. I think each person must build a good solid relationship with themselves. Its not an easy thing to do, but it can be done. My experience is that the honesty part is the biggest hurdle and the greatest achievement about this.

If life is oatmeal, then religion is brown sugar. It gives flavour, it makes the oatmeal so very much better! But first you have to make the oatmeal, take the time to stand at the stove and stir that pot.

Sorry I have not been to active lately. Busy with work, going through some family issues, sick as a dog, and apparently, according to some,can’t seem to get across what I am actually trying to say as of late.  I actually agree with them LOL